Many women before marriage are made to understand that they should learn to satisfy their husbands in bed.
And it’s sad how the “sex is for him” message has been passed from mothers to daughters. According to relationship experts, you shouldn’t always ‘give’ sex to your husband but try to get some benefits out of it too. Sex is not just about the husband, it’s meant to be enjoyed by both husband and wife which is why it should be important for both parties.
Gaye Christmus of BlogHer lists 3 reasons why women should take their minds of this ‘set rule’:
- It distances you from your own sexuality. If you’re always “giving” sex to your husband, it reinforces the idea that sex isn’t about you. And that’s just not true. You’re a sexual being and deserve to enjoy sex in your marriage. For a lot of reasons, though, women often struggle to accept that and to “own” their sexuality, and the idea that sex is primarily about men contributes to that struggle.
- It limits intimacy in your marriage. Obviously, sex is only one way to build intimacy, but it’s an important one. When it’s a shared experience that both of you enjoy, it enhances intimacy. When it’s always a “favor” you’re doing for your husband, it doesn’t. Sex is the activity that distinguishes your marriage from every other relationship in your life. If you embrace it, it will create an intimate bond between the two of you in a way nothing else can.
- It creates resentment. Unless you’re an exceptionally saintly person, if sex is always about your husband and never about you, at some point you’re going to begin to resent sex or your husband or, more than likely, both. And to be honest, your husband will probably resent it too.